Adoption

Most of the following details come from my prayer journals and this is just a consolidation of various entries.

Back in 1991-92, I felt God telling me, Shanthi, that I needed to go show His love to orphans in East Africa.  Children who wouldn’t otherwise get to experience the unconditional love that God showers us with.

November 2002, Miriam was born.

At the end of 2002, when I called the principal of Heritage to interview with him over the phone, I learned that he was in the process of adopting and I inquired some details from him.  The gist of the conversation was that it was not difficult, just time consuming.

When we arrived in Uganda in July 2003 and started working, I found many people who were adopting Ugandan children.  I occasionally asked Chad if he was interested in adopting and he said no every time.  He said that perhaps there was another way for God to fulfill His calling in my life – to love orphans unconditionally with the love of Jesus.  So I started to pray off and on. 

In the Fall of 2003, I volunteered at a babies’ home and was tutoring children.  When they all went back to school in Feb 2004, the only thing left for me to do was to hold babies.  At that time, I asked Chad about adoption and again he said no.  So I stopped volunteering there because my heart ached to have another child, but my husband was not in agreement.

Dec 23, 2003, I prayed about adopting a young child 3-5 years old.

August 2004, Chad and I celebrated our ten year anniversary in Egypt.  At the same time that we were in Egypt (the end of the Nile), Moses was being born in Jinja (the source of the Nile).

December 2004, Miriam and Moses’ mom died.

Feb 28, 2005 – I had a STRONG desire to adopt 2 Ugandan children.

April 4, 2005 – I weighed the pros and cons of adopting.

April 11, 2005 – Chad gave his first favorable response to adopting.

April 28, 2005 – I prayed about the birthdays (wanting them to be in August and Dec since we already had birthdays in Feb, Apr, June, and Sept.) and to be 2 years apart in school.

In May 2005, I wrote an e-mail to two babies’ homes in Jinja.  One gave me a very thorough and informative reply (Welcome Home) and the other wasn’t so informative.  All the interns at that time were very keen on Chad and I adopting.  But at this time, Chad still didn’t agree.  So I kept praying.

In June 2005, Chad told me explicitly to stop pursuing adoption.  I was sure this was THE time to do it if we were going to do it.  At this time my mom was coming for a year and I had 2 months off from school.  This was the best option in my opinion.  But Chad was very adamant.  And again I went to God in prayer.  I don’t know how many times I prayed to God to remove from me the desire or change Chad’s desire.  But it was very difficult for me emotionally.  It was like a roller coaster.  Interestingly to note, Miriam and Moses weren’t at the babies’ home at this time.  Again, God knew the plan and who & when we should adopt. 

In late August 2005, Chad went to Kenya on a project trip.  On that trip, he realized the future that many of these children have.  It isn’t pretty.  He returned from that trip saying, “Ok, we adopt a child and we leave.”  Well…I got to thinking that the attitude behind that wouldn’t be very good for our children to see.  And so I told him that I didn’t want to adopt children if we didn’t have a positive attitude about their country.  Besides, I had come to the opinion that adopting two children would be so much better.  This is the month when Miriam and Moses were admitted to Welcome Home.  Why did grandpa bring them to Welcome Home?  A girl was schooling near Welcome Home, she came on holiday back to the village, she saw grandpa struggling to provide for Miriam and Moses and suggested Welcome Home for help, he took Moses to WH.  Mandy & Esther (the director and social worker) went with grandpa to village, saw Miriam and asked if grandpa wanted them to take Miriam as well.

Oct 16, 2005 Chad talked with Carl about adopting and he was totally cool with the idea.

Nov, 2005 – Chad read the book “Should you adopt?” which opened his eyes to adopting 2 children instead of just one.

At the end of 2005, we all went to a resort near Jinja for a Christmas get away.  This included my mom and my sister.  Us girls (mom, AJ, and myself) went to Jinja to go shopping and my mom suggested going to the babies’ home for a visit.  I told her that Chad wasn’t going to like that.  She assured me that it was her idea and so we went.  Mom asked tons of questions and we learned a lot.  They had 60 children all under the age of 5.  One of the things we learned was that you never get biological sibling at the babies home.

Jan 3, 2006 – Chad doesn’t want to talk about adoption

By Jan 18, 2006, Chad was suggesting we go to Jinja to look at babies’ homes and talk with them.

Jan 21, 2006 We went to Welcome Home in Jinja.  It was the first time I had been to a babies’ home where it felt like we were at a supermarket.  It was like shopping.  I hated it and so did Chad.  It did however help to not want a baby right away, which is what I had prayed that morning.  Chad received an e-mail from his sister, Christie, about adopting and found out that she had considered it herself.

Jan 23, 2006 Chad was willing to adopt 3 year old twins!

I had prayed about what birthdays I wanted my children to have.  I wanted them to each be two years apart in school and I wanted their birthdays in November and August.  I wanted a brother and sister, the boy older and the sister younger.

Jan 26, 2006 – I wrote Gram a letter informing her of our plans to adopt which started us telling Chad’s family about our plans.

Feb 8, 2006 We received an e-mail from Chad’s mom that said, “Funny you should mention this but I have always felt that you would bring back a child from Uganda. There was never a doubt in my mind! From the day you left I have had very strong feelings about this.”  Once we received her e-mail we felt like God was saying “Go ahead!”

Feb 8, 2006 I thought about what name I would want for my children.  I picked Moses because if we took him from the Nile, it would be a neat heritage just like the Moses in the Bible except from the source instead of the end of the Nile.  My mom suggested the name Miriam for the sister, but I thought that was a little too arranged, since the Moses in the Bible has an older sister named Miriam.

Feb 11, 2006 We got an e-mail telling us about Miriam (11-1-02) and Moses (8-1-04) who were brother and sister.  But it was conditional upon their grandfather signing off for them to be adopted.  This was absolutely amazing.  The names matched!  The birthdates matched!  The only difference was the order in which they were born. But even that turned out perfect since Miriam in the Bible is older than her brother Moses.

Feb 24, 2006 – I prayed about whether Miriam and Moses were the children for us to adopt.

Mar 14, 2006 We got word that the Grandpa had signed off on them and we could have them.

Mar 19, 2006 We went to Welcome Home to see which children were Miriam and Moses.

We went to a VOCAG meeting to learn more about adopting. 

March 24, 2006 – Grandpa Thomas approved having Miriam and Moses adopted.

April 1, 2006 We told Welcome Home that we wanted to pursue adopting Miriam and Moses.

April 12, 2006 We met with the Probation Officer from Jinja who did a home study for us.

April 21, 2006 We met with the director of Welcome Home and she okayed us to adopt Miriam and Moses.

May 2, 2006 We put down our deposit for our lawyer to pursue applying for legal guardianship.

May 18, 20, 24, 26, 2006 We ran an ad in the local paper looking for the father of Miriam and Moses.

June 1, 2006 – Aug 10, 2006: Chad, Shanthi, Nathan & Chesna went to the USA for a furlough.  We specifically did not want to bring Moses and Miriam with us because it would be too overwhelming for us and for them.  We wanted them to come to live with us when we were stable and in one place.

Sept 27, 2006 We got to bring Miriam and Moses home to live with us!

Nov 5, 2006 We met with Miriam and Moses’ grandfather.  He explained (through an interpreter) that the parents died.  He didn’t know the father at all.  The mother had come back to the grandfather’s place while pregnant with Moses because she was sick and the father had died.  She gave birth to Moses there and died shortly after.  The grandfather lived with them for a year and then they went to Welcome Home.  The grandfather permitted us to record him giving a blessing to Miriam and Moses.  He’s in his 70’s and sells dried fish in the Jinja market 6 days a week.  He travels to his home on Sundays.  We were able to visit his home and take pictures.

Nov 11, 2006 We received legal guardianship from the Uganda courts.  This allows us to travel with them outside of the country.  For the US adoption, our 2 years of legal guardianship start from the date on this doc which is dated the 16^th of November when it was officially signed.

March 2009   We submitted our documents for adoption to our lawyer in Uganda.

June 16, 2009 We went to court with Miriam and Moses’ grandfather.

July 8, 2009  We received the courts ruling for final adoption in Uganda.

July 9, 2009  We applied to the US Embassy (I-130) to recognize the Ugandan adoption.

July 21, 2009 US Embassy said there’s an investigation into Welcome Home and all adoptions from there had to be put on hold.  Chad appealed based on the fact that we had completed the adoption process in Uganda according to their laws and had a letter from the US Embassy saying they would recognize that adoption.  Chad came home, told Shanthi what happened.  We cried and prayed.  Within 45 minutes of Chad coming home, the US Embassy called and said that the I-130 and the visas to the US had been approved and would be ready the following day to be picked up.

July 22, 2009 Chad picked up the passports with the VISA and I-130 stamp in them.

July 29, 2009 Miriam and Moses entered the U.S.A. and became legal permanent residents!